Mosquito Jackpot

Posted: September 16, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: ,

Since it is Friday, I figured we should have some fun with this one.

Last night Naomi and I were once again hanging out on the hammock and as it was getting dark, I noticed we were starting to get eaten up by mosquitoes. Of course, I had to get her out of there. I hate mosquitoes! Nothing ruins a good campfire or looking for shooting stars like being attacked by these little politicians. However, tonight’s attack got me thinking. When do mosquitoes feel like they hit the jackpot and when do they feel like they totally got ripped off? Is there a meet up spot for mosquitoes to share their success stories? I kinda doubt it, but if there was I think they would have a winners and losers list based on the following criteria.

Jackpot:
Drunk guy – For some reason, I imagine mosquitoes are buzzing around outside bars or night clubs just waiting for anyone with a BAC above .10 to come stumbling out. As soon as they hit the sidewalk, the mosquito hits the skin – and let the party begin!

Baby – This one is because Naomi was in my arms when we started getting eaten up. Doesn’t it seem like a baby would have pure unblemished blood? A mosquito probably loves to latch onto a babies smooth skin and enjoy that 100% goodness. That’s why I got Naomi out of there quickly tonight.

Roger Clemens/Barry Bonds – Mosquitoes that are lucky enough to find themselves clubbing it up on these guys are usually found two or three days later in the gym with the ability to all of a sudden have the power to bench press 250 lbs.  Their vision also becomes like an eagle and they can now spot you from over 2 miles away.  Have you ever been somewhere where you felt safe from mosquitoes, but then all of a sudden you’re being attacked like its pearl harbor all over again?  I can promise you that mosquito has spent some time with one of these two guys.

Jesus – Jesus’ blood has Salvation power, imagine the mosquitoes that were lucky enough to find themselves attached to Jesus. Do you think they just went to mosquito heaven right then and there? Or did they become super mosquitoes with amazing power to fly through walls and heal other mosquitoes? Either way, I imagine Jesus was the ultimate mosquito jackpot.

Ripped off:
I’m going to keep this very simple and just say Magic Johnson & Pamela Anderson. Mosquitoes have been found to latch onto their skin and literally die moments later. I don’t think I need to explain why.

What about you? Can you think of anyone that would qualify for a mosquito jackpot or rip off?

*FYI about the photo – this picture was taken in 2001 when I hit the jackpot in Reno, NV.  Perhaps this will be a future post.

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Comments
  1. Tracey Jones says:

    I love this Matt. Okay, a mosquito that landed on Tremendous would give hugs!!!

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