Journey to Servanthood – Guest Post from Vicki Riggins

Here’s an excellent post from my wonderful wife Vicki.

This morning my little girl pumped her fist together asking for a cookie, her third one. I reached in the bag and gave her another. She happily took it then proceeded to shove it in her mouth and run to her toys. I have a happy child. One that is clothed, fed, loved on with all the desires a 1-year-old could need. Never once have I not had some kind of snack to offer her. Sure we’ve come close to running out of the essentials while waiting for Friday’s pay check, but never have we missed a meal due to no food in the cupboards.

As I am thinking on these things an infomercial pops up on my T.V. You know the kinds for fighting world hunger. They show all those starving babies with their hair changing color, ribs sticking out, stick arms, and bulging bellies. They make your heart stop a beat. Usually I click over to another channel convincing myself that our family does our share. That I’ve seen it all before and we just can’t sacrifice another penny, someone else will do it. “We already give tons to our church, other charity organizations, an orphan inIndia” I continue telling myself.

Well, this time I didn’t click over to Who wants to be a millionaire. I sat for the entire infomercial holding back the tears. When it was finished I turned off the T.V. and looked around at the house cluttered with toys and worldly possessions. I could remember last Christmas when I had thought my child with only her yellow bucket filled with toys wasn’t enough for her. Last week I had some anxiety wondering where we would get the money for summer clothes, not to mention winter clothes. Now I have a pile of summer clothes for her sitting on our couch. One too many more than most children have. Oh, and those toys. We don’t even have enough corners in the house for all her toys anymore.

I picked up my little one and squeezed her tight, weeping as I couldn’t imagine all the mothers that were doing the same thing, wishing they had one ounce of breast milk to soothe their child’s hunger pains. My tears wouldn’t stop as I cried to God to have mercy on these children and their mothers. Of course the question of why came up through my pleas. Then God whispered Vicki, are you really doing your share. Have you really sacrificed everything for me?

I have complained to God before about my small house that I don’t have enough room to store all of our junk in. I’ve complained about my responsibility to yet again do another load of laundry, clean another toilet, and make another meal. I’ve complained about our 20 minute trip to the church every other day. I’ve complained about my weight, not eating properly or exercising enough. I’ve complained about the heat or air conditioning not working, yet again. I’ve complained about gas prices and car expenses. I’ve complained because my child has cried one minute too long. I’ve complained because there is nothing to watch on T.V., that we can’t afford to go out to eat or have a nice date night. That it’s too hot, too cold, too spicy, too far, too lonely, too crowded, too loud, too soft, and not enough time in the day.

Am I really doing my part for the Kingdom of God? I don’t think so. There is no way that my selfish little heart is doing enough for the kingdom of heaven. While my child throws a tantrum for not getting what she wants I can only imagine where she gets it from. Americans and I’m sure a good percentage of the world, live in little bubbles too concerned about buildings, budgets, and programs. Who can look the best and be the most comfortable? We are the seeds that have been thrown amongst the thorns or trampled upon. What about all those that have never even tasted the bread of life, they don’t even know it exists? Am I really doing my part? Are you really doing yours? What can we do today, tomorrow, this week, and the rest of our lives to change this?